A Beautiful Song

"No one will surrender tonight, but I won't give in. I know what I want."

I know so many people think Twilight is so over-rated and dumb, but there is something to be said for the truly amazing love story created by Stephanie Meyer...
I just finished watching the movie, which for some reason I cannot seem to return on my Netflix, and it got me to thinking on my own life and how important it is to be with the right person, and to really find a man who wants you so bad...and is irresistibly irrevocably in love with you.
I think so often girls try and find the first boy who makes them feel like a million bucks, but really they end up with a guy who honestly doesnt care, and won't love them in the way they deserve to be loved.
Its important to know what you want, to know the type of man of God you want in your life...not only how he looks but certain qualities he holds, and the dreams and goals he holds for his life, and what will become goals and dreams for your life as well.
I find it so compelling to see the way that Edward looks at Bella, he longs for her in such an agonizing and overcoming way, but his love for her is enough that he wont hurt her and tries everything in his power to protect her. That's true love. True love is protection...its holding back. True love is also trust. I mean seriously, Bella falls in love with a vampire, a monster that is designed to kill, but she trusts him enough to let him get close, to let him be what he is in front of her. Lastly, its honesty and truth. Its not hiding the little secrets but being up front with who you are, and how you feel....I know your probably thinking: "wow, how lame is Reba that she is talking about this weird love story?" but really, this movie, and the books, have really changed the way I think about and perceive relationships and true love. It shows how real and passionate love needs to be, not just this flaky, cheating, lying love that is so often lived out and portrayed in our society!
I have recently decided to make some changes in the way I view and react in relationships, but I have come to the conclusion that I am not going to seek love out...im not going to put myself in a position to be hurt or taken advantage of. I'm waiting for the right person who is going to want me, and only me...and love me for who I am. Flaws and all.

The end of One year, and the Beginning of Another

I turned 22 on March 16th. I can't believe another year has come and gone! I feel so old now, like the joys and irresponsibility of youth is so far away from me, and sometimes I wonder if I missed out on something I should have experienced or there was something I could have done differently.
Where does responsibility and adulthood start or begin? I know there are still crazy moments to be had, and random spontaneity that will occur. I just feel like in some ways that part of life must end, and the more responsible, serious, professional Reba must come through. I don't want to stop being a kid. I don't want to stop being goofy and outgoing and doing weird things just to make a scene and look different. I still want to go nuts over stupid things, and be over dramatic sometimes. Is that still okay when your an adult?
Im learning that your life is not something someone can "show you the ropes" at, and its not something you can always model from someone else. Your life needs to be your own, and you and God are the only one's who can figure out exactly who you are, and what your purpose is. I think that God purposefully doesn't always show us what to do, or give us the answers we want because he wants us to grow through it, and learn what it means to live your life the way he made you to live it, and grow through the stretching and challenging times that life brings...

P.S. This picture was some of the group that went out to Chiang Mai Thai in Uptown to celebrate my birthday! It was lots of fun!

The pursuit of Love

Today is probably the best day for me to ever start a blog. When you have a day full of theological questions on life, and you just seem to ask God everything, and why things don't always go the way you want, and the way you plan, its just a perfect time to sit down and reflect on what really matters, and why its even important to ask questions like that.
I feel like God just wants us to learn things, and he puts us through various situations that make us think and learn all the lessons he has. Its so hard sometimes, but definitely worth it. God is so good.